


It's all my fault....

by Malcolm Reynolds (FanficbyLee)



Category: Firefly, Serenity
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-04
Updated: 2006-05-04
Packaged: 2017-11-05 02:28:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficbyLee/pseuds/Malcolm%20Reynolds





	It's all my fault....

Malcolm Reynolds  
Firefly/Serenity  
Author: [](http://sanguinepen.livejournal.com/profile)[**sanguinepen**](http://sanguinepen.livejournal.com/)  
Word Count: 508  
Rating:  
Prompt: [](http://deviant-muses.livejournal.com/profile)[**deviant_muses**](http://deviant-muses.livejournal.com/) Fear, [](http://joss100.livejournal.com/profile)[**joss100**](http://joss100.livejournal.com/) #60 Paint

  
I could almost taste it comin’ from them. My crew, my friends and my…well…I never did know what to call Simon and Inara. I liked to think of them as crew, as family, but most of the time they spent all their energy tryin’ not to be part of us. And well River, she’s just off her rocker enough that you can’t really tell where she is from one moment to the next, I’d asked her is she understood her part in this, and she’d asked me “do you?” Now I have to admit that I don’t rightly conjure that I do. Knowin’ what’s goin’ on in the little Albatros’ brain ain’t somethin’ no sane person should ever try to do.

We should have all been livin’ it up. Spendin’ all that hard earned cashy money that we’d gotten, but instead I’d dragged them all into the lion’s ruttin’ den. Serenity had been painted up like some deranged whore, red paint splattered over her, while the bodies of Haven’s fallen were strapped to her nose like some animal we’d gone huntin’ for. It had made Zoe sick to know what I was plannin’, trust Zoe to figure out what I had in mind foe any of the others. Sometimes I had to wonder if she weren’t the reader not the girl.

Bright lights scanned us from the huge Reaver vessel. It was old, blast marks scarred its hull, and scores of the dead were decoratin’ it was like some insane Christmas float in a parade of from Hell. I saw Wash reach for Zoe, while Inara wrapped her shawl over her shoulders. I had no business bringin’ her into this mess. Was goin’ to be my fault when she died because of knowin’ me like so many others already had because of the Operative. I wished to gorram hell that she’d stayed on Haven where she’d been able to hide. Alliance had already been there when they’d killed Book and his people, Inara could have been safe.

The Fear for her safety nearly choked the air from my lungs. It was like another presence on the bridge with us. Towering over us all, dressed in black robes while its featureless face whispered doom and gloom into our ears. I tried not to listen. Weren’t my safety I was afraid of anyway. I’d lost so many people at Serenity. Lost all that I was and all that I would have been when the Purple Bellies killed Shadow, and now I was bringin’ the woman I loved through a horde of Reavers chasin’ the dreams of the Albatros girl.

I was as insane as she was. I’d taken’ myself back into the war, just like I told Inara I hadn’t. If I stilled believed in some higher power, I might have prayed for them all. Book would have told me that prayer and hope would have chased away the specter of Fear that was naggin’ at us all, but I had lost hope and prayer a very long time ago. 


End file.
